A Casual Attempt At Explaining My Executive Dysfunction
Or ‘The Exploding Hose’
Over the last year, a friend introduced me to the phrase ‘executive dysfunction.’
Executive dysfunction: the group of complex mental processes and cognitive abilities that control the skills required for goal-directed behavior
Thank you, Merriam-Webster.1 This description accurately reflects something that I struggle with. I already knew that I have ADHD and a nonverbal learning disorder. Upon retaking a test late last year, I learned that I am, in fact, autistic.
This was not news to me. For years, I had suspected that might be the case, as many of my academic struggles paralleled what I read about in my research. Finally getting an official diagnosis felt satisfying. 2
Executive dysfunction is often associated with autism, and something that I am very acquainted with. It means I can spend hours waffling over what to say in an essay or noodle for hours over precisely how to phrase concepts in my head when the time comes to transfer them to the digital, physical, or vocal realm.
Like writing a Substack newsletter. Cough, cough.
Yes, exactly. Additionally, this also means that when I get an idea for something to do, I don’t just have one idea, I have mountains of add-ons and side topics until the whole thing crumbles under the weight of my expectations.
I like to picture this as a cartoon hose that gets tied in a knot. It expands exponentially until BOOM! You get a face full of water.3 Like I said in the introduction post, this is an attempt to avoid that.
Then shouldn’t this have been put in the introduction post?
Quiet, you. Anyway, I’m going to resist the urge to come up with dozens of ideas and force myself to make weekly posts. I’m going to limit to my first few ideas and work on them. If they pan out, great! If not, something else will come along. 4And if weekly newsletters become incredibly important to me, then I’ll schedule them to be published at specific times.
I’m glad that’s settled…question mark?
Shoo!
“Executive function.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/executive%20function. Accessed 23 Jan. 2025.
Side note: Check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, as shown in the embedded clip. It’s excellent and it has Jewish representation.
Or a leaky faucet that someone puts a cork in and it bursts, flooding the house. See what I mean about distractions and tangents?
Like my increasing temptation to write about books with humorous footnotes. Looking at you, Bartimaeus Sequence.